So you went out of Valentine’s day and it turned into a disastrous breakup…here are some tips for how to deal with this situation.
1. know that any heartbreak feelings your having right now is totally temporary…you might have a very bad case of the blues and think that life isn’t even worth living anymore…but just know that these nasty feelings will go away over time.
Scientific Explanation: When you have that heartbreak feeling going on it is from Adrenalin and Oxytocin…they too chemicals play hugely in your brain regarding your moods…Oxytocin has also been called the cuddle drug…because your body makes it when you have that skin on skin cuddling contact with someone. Adrenalin on the other hand is like crack cocaine…it’s your bodies natural way of getting you excited and keeping you alert. In a relationship where things are fast and furious from the get go, you can get a TON of Adrenalin running through your brain where you can’t sleep, eat, or really even think…its the butterflies in the stomach response and can be extremely powerful. Feeling love like that is the strongest drug known to man…it can be completely overwhelming and cause you to do stupid things…and when your heart is broken that feeling goes away and you are literally coming down and having drug withdrawal symptoms from so much Adrenalin.
2. Exercise helps…yes, surprising when you are feeling that anxious butterflies in stomach heartbreak feeling…exercise will help you feel better. Also, the harder you exercise the better…so go lift so weight or do some sprints…this will calm down your system actually and help to push some of the Adrenalin out of your body. I know it sounds crazy, but give it a shot…if you have a new love or just got dumped by one…go exercise and it will calm you down so you can eat and sleep better.
3. Distract your mind…one common thing to do is to keep thinking about your lover over and over in your head and even beating yourself up by thinking ‘well I shoulda, coulda, woulda’…what’s done is done…you can’t change the past, you can only influence the future…so stop thinking about your lover and just focus on something totally different. Of course this is easier said then done, once we experience the love drug we can’t stop thinking about it…it’s like your body is craving those chemicals again and you can’t get that person out of your head. You really need to put yourself in a situation where you can’t even begin to think about him/her. Get your head in a place where you focus on your work, friends, family, hobbies, etc…take a break from any activities you enjoyed together so it doesn’t spur more memories of the loved one. One specific trick you can use is to think about all the bad stuff about your lover…this will help your mind come to the conclusion that ‘she/he wasn’t right for me anyway’. This can be a little bit hard to do, but if you can just focus on why they are not right it will help relax you and you will stop thinking about all the good things.
4. Chalk it up as a learning experience…the ability to laugh at one’s self and learn from our mistakes is next to Godliness. To many folks take love too seriously…yes it is the ultimate drug and high…but you have to think about the long term and want you have learned from your experience so it doesn’t happen again…yes this can also be hard (I wasn’t saying dealing with heartbreak is easy by any stretch of the imagination) …but know that deep down you are a more evolved and better person because you went through such a strong emotional experience. Know that you just experienced something great and now that’s its over you can learn from it and grow to be better for your next mate. Think of life as a journey and not a destination…so many of us get all wrapped up in trying to get married and have kids that we forget that life is a process where we learn from our mistakes and keep moving forward. You have to just chalk it up to experience and move on…don’t dwell on the person if it doesn’t work out. You might not think that you will ever find anyone as awesome as your lover…this is a VERY common thing to think…but this is simply not true. You have to let go of that person and know that the next relationship you are in will be way better because you are smarter and had this experience…keep this in your mind and you will always be able to have better and better relationships 
I would love to hear anymore tips folks have for having to deal with a broken heart…we’ve all been there, so don’t ever think that you are the first person to have their heart broken…it’s human nature to want to feel love. Keep in mind that getting love is risky business, there is always a chance that your feelings won’t be returned and you will be devastated…but think of it this way, at least you tried and had that feeling for a short time…yeah it sucks if your heartbroken now…but give it time, get out and spend some time with your friends and always know that it is better to have loved and lost to have never loved at all…sounds cheesy but what is human experience without giving something a try…you only live once, so get out there and find your love.
Ultimately I don’t think anything will make you happier then love…it is truly the ultimate drug, its natural, renewable and is what evolution has been working on for 4.5 billion years…without the insane drug highs of love, life would be dull and not have all the variety and flair around the sexual experience.
So if you were dumped on Valentines day…take a deep breath…know that the feelings you’re having right now are common and temporary…focus your mind on something else…and chalk it up as a learning experience so the next time you fall in love you will be able to control your emotions better from the start.
